Keep Your Eye on the Ball.....

I'm a procrastinator by nature....I think I love both  the adrenalin rush that I get by waiting until the last minute to get something done, and the sense of relief that comes after I've successfully completed the task.  This is especially true when the task involves something that I really don't want to do.  I avoid things that I don't want to do until I'm backed into a corner with nowhere to turn - case in point, my last few classes in college.  Two math classes - my nemesis - One this semester, and one next semester.  A science capstone lab (the fact that my major features a concentration in science was an accident!)....and, Children's PE.  I had heard horror stories about this PE class, and in typical fashion, put it off until I had no other choice but to take it.  I'm working on the procrastination thing.

I spend 1 1/2 hours of each class in the gym, and the other 1 1/2 hours in lecture.  The gym part comes first, so I get to collapse at my desk afterward to recuperate.  My professor is puzzled by me; I know that she wants to ask me WHY I'm putting myself through this at 58 years old.  I can see that question in her eyes during every gym period as she watches me struggle through the torture lesson.  Oh, the things I could tell her if she would only ask!  

I've learned so much more than just the "Three R's" during these past four years in college - I've learned that:

• I can do just about anything that I put my mind to 
• I am intelligent
• I am courageous
• I am strong
• I have substance at my core
• I am not afraid to try new things - even if I can't do them perfectly
• When I get around to doing the things that I've put off, the actual experience of doing them is not as bad as what I've been thinking it would be.  If I do them on a timely basis, it would lessen the drama that lives inside my head!  
• It's OK to not be perfect - the biggest lesson that I'm learning this semester- my grades are not a reflection of who I am.  This is a huge one for me. Until now, I've gotten only A's and one B....but just like in my career, I invested hugely in being an "A" student, just as I invested hugely in being an "A" professional.  
• Having balance in my life is more important than getting "A"'s - and more fun, too!

So, as my professor watches me struggle on the gym floor doing the crab walk through hula hoops or crazily trying to not fall off of the balance beam, I hope she sees that, even though I am struggling, I am enjoying the process - and learning that although my 58-year old body may have some limitations, my mind and my attitude do not.  I'm actually having fun with it all!