Change is good. Sometimes, though, it just takes a little getting used to! I've taken care of others for my entire life, beginning when I was a child myself. Helped raise my siblings, had a child, cared for my parents, etc., etc., etc. My daughter left home to go to college about six years ago, married, and never did come back home to live. My mom passed away about a year and a half ago. My pets have passed on, one by one. My nephew came to live with me about six and a half years ago (long story, with a wonderful ending!) He graduated from college in December and has moved on with his life (and out of my house)!
So where does that leave me? Still here, with just one cat to care for. Feels strange and good, all at the same time. For the first few days, I found myself sort of walking into walls, trying to figure out what it was that I was feeling....sad that such a large part of who I had been (the caretaker) was no longer needed.....and then, it dawned on me.....I was FREE!
I don't regret the choices that I made earlier in my life....they all contributed to making me the person that I am...but now, I am answerable only to myself, and it feels GREAT! I enjoy my solitude, and the fact that when I come home and close the door behind me, I can just BE.... do my homework, study, listen to music, read, cook what I like to cook, watch TV, or whatever I want to do without having to consider someone else. It still feels all new to me, and I'm liking it!
Being on my own has raised the question of choices that I now feel free to make....I'm not making any hasty decisions, but am considering whether or not I want to continue to live in a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house....or if I even want to stay in the Los Angeles area.... I will be finished with my undergraduate degree in May, and can get my teaching credential almost anywhere....My life here is full, busy and rewarding....I have truly "bloomed where I was planted"...but.....now I have options! Who knows!
Praising GOD with you for a "happy ending with lots of new beginnings full of love, peace, and contentment." Congratulations...you have accomplished much..enjoy the sweetness of your new journey with GOD....just you and the kitty.
ReplyDeleteSounds like heaven to me.
Hugs, andrea
After being widowed and finding myself on my own I too at first was a bit lost but like you said we are now able to make choices for ourselves.....after adjusting I have learned to love life and enjoy each and every day. God Bless and be with you as you decide what changes are yet to come..........:-) Hugs
ReplyDeleteHurray for options! Enjoy the many wonderful options before you. :) {hugs}
ReplyDeleteYes, yes....I understand completely. I was the caregive my whole life and when the I lost my Dad, who was the last one to be cared for, I remember sinking down on the bed and murmuring, "Holy mackerel....now it's MY turn".
ReplyDeleteGood luck wherever your freedom takes you. I hope you can enjoy it as I have.
Lo
Saranne, What a wonderful post. Options are nice to have!
ReplyDeleteWoo-hoo!
jj
What's great about your reaction is that you're not pining for what was. I don't detect the slightest empty nest syndrome, and that's all to the good. I think it's wonderful to be able to make decisions for yourself, by yourself, and the possibilities that are waiting for you are exciting. Way to go, Saranne!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post exclaiming your freedom. There are times the larger house is handy. I have only two children, who the heck would imagine I would have eight grandkiddos? I'm hopin' their done! Pray and listen to that small inner voice, you do have the world open to you.
ReplyDeleteGod bless and have a fantastic day filled with glorious blessings!!!
Sounds like an exciting time!! Enjoy it Saranne.
ReplyDeletewow what a great post and so filled with Hope! Yes your lfie is full and you seem so happy with all your blessings! Good for you to always look at the glass as 1/2 full. And you have sure become quite the blogger too! 33 followers if great. Keep writing and I will keep reading. And cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteHi Saranne, I finally figured out how to get to my followers sites. And what a great site it is. I love your story honest, open, brave and encouraging. You go girl! Congratulations on college, that sounds very exciting to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog (from Dave's). You do sound a lot like me. Single. A Handy Ma'am. Resourceful. Upbeat. Glad to meet you. Please feel free to visit my other blog: The K Is No Longer Silent
ReplyDeleteHey, good luck! This is the begining. And it's obvious you have bags of enthousiam ...
ReplyDeleteInspirational. Thank you.:)
Good for you for finding the happiness in your options. I will be an "empty nester" in the fall. I am part terrified and part elated. I hope I can have your upbeat attitude!
ReplyDeleteWhere all these changes leave you is on the threshold of a new begining. You might consider getting a dog and trace your new trajectory.
ReplyDeleteI still have my 20 year old daughter and my husband at home. But I was always on the go with not a second to spare. I work 2 part-time jobs (arranged when my daughter was younger so I could be an almost stay-at-home mom). But now that my daughter works full time and goes out on her free time, I find that I have too much time on my hands. With the employment rate and economy the way it is, who is going to hire a 51 year old bookkeeper? But like you, I'm not sweating it. I know that God will send me all things when I need them. Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful. I am one of those busy but still pining people...I envy your determination to not look back!
ReplyDelete