Monday, February 15, 2010
Change is good. Sometimes, though, it just takes a little getting used to! I've taken care of others for my entire life, beginning when I was a child myself. Helped raise my siblings, had a child, cared for my parents, etc., etc., etc. My daughter left home to go to college about six years ago, married, and never did come back home to live. My mom passed away about a year and a half ago. My pets have passed on, one by one. My nephew came to live with me about six and a half years ago (long story, with a wonderful ending!) He graduated from college in December and has moved on with his life (and out of my house)!
So where does that leave me? Still here, with just one cat to care for. Feels strange and good, all at the same time. For the first few days, I found myself sort of walking into walls, trying to figure out what it was that I was feeling....sad that such a large part of who I had been (the caretaker) was no longer needed.....and then, it dawned on me.....I was FREE!
I don't regret the choices that I made earlier in my life....they all contributed to making me the person that I am...but now, I am answerable only to myself, and it feels GREAT! I enjoy my solitude, and the fact that when I come home and close the door behind me, I can just BE.... do my homework, study, listen to music, read, cook what I like to cook, watch TV, or whatever I want to do without having to consider someone else. It still feels all new to me, and I'm liking it!
Being on my own has raised the question of choices that I now feel free to make....I'm not making any hasty decisions, but am considering whether or not I want to continue to live in a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house....or if I even want to stay in the Los Angeles area.... I will be finished with my undergraduate degree in May, and can get my teaching credential almost anywhere....My life here is full, busy and rewarding....I have truly "bloomed where I was planted"...but.....now I have options! Who knows!