Anticipation...

The arrivals begin this evening.....by Wednesday night, there will be 10 people staying with me in my little house...some camping in the back yard!   Am I ready?  Heck, no!  The big stuff has been completed....like the tiling of my bathroom floor and the resetting of the toilets in both bathrooms...whew!  Will I ever tile a floor again?  Don't think so...am much better on walls!  Still work to do in the bathroom....baseboards, paint, etc.....but it's finally functional again, and that's what matters....let the celebrations begin!

Tonight is the Honors Convocation at my university....yes, I am graduating Magna Cum Laude (I know I'm bragging, but it has been well-earned)...Wednesday evening is my actual graduation ceremony....and Thursday morning is my nephew's graduation ceremony....he actually graduated in December, but is flying down to "walk"...

I am looking forward to having my house full of those that I love so dearly...sitting around the firepit outside in the evening...the last time so many of us were gathered together around the fire we were planning my Mom's funeral...bittersweet memories, but I know that she will be smiling down upon us all ....and after all of the graduation hoopla, we're all headed to Disneyland for a couple of days!

I'm gonna need a vacation when everyone goes home.....

Heaven on Earth...

Yep, I got to experience a little of this over the past couple of days...headed down to San Diego to celebrate a belated Mothers Day with my daughter and her family...I arrived at the house before they had returned from doing an errand, and Emma and I did a "happy dance" on the front lawn when we greeted each other...then littly Ashlyn joined the fun...Elizabeth had created an incredible t-shirt top for me....pictures to follow when I get them off the camera....talented doesn't even begin to describe her creative gifts...I also received a gorgeous orchid plant that I will try to keep alive...Emma insisted that we "make my bed" (a pull-out sleeper couch) so that she could be sure that I would be staying and not going home...I sleep with Ashlyn in her room, and she woke me with leaning out of her crib as far as she could and saying "hi" to me over and over...of course, I couldn't resist, and brought her into bed with me to cuddle as we snoozed...as I awoke again, I was surrounded by TWO little ones, crawling all over  me, patting my face, and being called upon to "Grammy wake up"  What a perfect way to start the day...and it only got better from there!  Did errands in the morning and put the girls down for naps while Elizabeth and I tackled prepping her kitchen for paint....Ashlyn wasn't having anything to do with napping, so I sprung her from her crib and we played with the baby dolls, danced, and hung out while Elizabeth painted...Emma woke up just as Ashlyn was giving up the ghost....so i got to have one on one time with her too...she's decided that Mommy and Daddy need to go on a trip so that Grammy can come and stay and take care of her and Ashlyn...and you know I just hate hearing things like this!  I just feel so BLESSED to have them all in my life...and the fact that we don't have to go out and do special "stuff", but can just stay within the rhythm of a normal day and have the time of our lives!  Elizabeth and I have a wonderful rhythm when we're together....I respect her attitudes and priorities in the raising of her girls, and have no problem in being consistent with the rules that she has for them.  In return, she trusts me with her girls, and we just naturally do what needs to be done to care for them and get other stuff done at the same time...we're a great team!  The joy of seeing what wonderful parents my grandchildren have, what awesome children they are, and the fact that I am welcomed into being a part of all of this is truly a piece of heaven on earth for me!

Tomatoes.....

While I was watering my tomatoes this morning (there's nothing like a still-warm-from-the sun ripe tomato), I started thinking about my Mom.  I started growing them each year because of her.  She just LOVED fresh tomatoes, and I LOVED the fact that I could bring some sunshine into her life by doing this!  Each year, after they were planted, she would ask for daily updates about how they were doing, eagerly anticipating the beginning of the harvest....


Last spring, I was still feeling raw from the loss of Mom...I debated whether or not to plant tomatoes...and decided that I would...caring for the plants, I spent time thinking about her and feeling not only the loss, but, over time, the memories of the good times that we had shared....as the first wave of tomatoes ripened, my daughter and family came to visit....two-year old Emma was fascinated by the tomatoes....and wanted to taste them...we picked and washed, and she sat down to feast...her eyes lit up with her first taste of a tomato off the vine, much as my Mom's used to...it was food for my soul, and brought joy to my heart...


So, this year, as I am watering the tomatoes, I not only think of my Mom and the joy that they brought to her, but the joy that they will bring to my now three-year old Emma....she even called me yesterday to see how they were growing!  

Senioritis....

Last big test down, just one last final on Saturday to study for....having a hard time focusing....math, of course!  Picked up my cap and gown yesterday....Honors ceremony next week, and graduation the following week!  Need to work on on getting my little shoebox of a house ready for the onslaught of family and friends coming to celebrate with me..some are even going to camp in my back yard so that we can all be together....am looking forward to sitting around the fire pit in the evenings with my nearest and dearest...have to tile my bathroom floor and reset the toilet so that I have two working bathrooms....the list just grows and grows!  But, I need to put my efforts into studying for this statistics/geometry final...this class has really stretched me...enough excuses, off to study!

The Best of All Worlds....

Today was a great day....I had to study for a BIG math exam in statistics and geometry....and I did it OUTSIDE...lying on a chaise...feeling the sun's rays on my back and shoulders...yes, I did put on sunscreen, but lying in the sun just feels so good to me...the soft breeze cooling me off...focusing on formulas and proofs....and then I realized that I was at almost eye-level with my grass lawn....WOW!  There is a whole other world going on down there....have you ever taken the time to look?  It was amazing....my journey began with noticing a ladybug perched on a blade of grass...my eyes traveled downward along the blade....and found a world that I had never realized existed....the ladybug was a GIANT compared to the other lawn inhabitants that I observed...some were as small as pencil dots...all scurrying along with their own agenda...the sunlight caught the glimmer of a tiny spider web strung along individual leaves of grass...some insects were black, and others almost translucent...I'm going to have to buy a magnifying glass...it was hard to turn my attention form the world beneath me to the required studying....but I did...and once the exam is over, I'm planning to go back to inspect the world beneath my feet...JUST AWESOME!

Long Time, No Blogging

I didn't intend to take a break from blogging....but life has just seemed to get into the way!  Lots of changes to adjust to, last semester of my undergraduate education, getting my house in order (a never-ending job, but I have made some headway), and looking for a job.

The job hunting has been making me CRAZY!  Yes, unemployment is at an all-time high, and yes, I am 58 years old, but damn, I'm still GOOD!  Am putting myself out there each and every day, and am trusting that the right job will happen when the time is right....

Life is good, and I have much to be grateful for.  I spent the last week in San Diego with my daughter's family...little 16-month old Ashlyn was hospitalized in the PICU with pneumonia.  Mom and Dad spent most of their time spelling each other at the hospital, and Emma and I got to hang out at home.  Tough times for a three-year old, but her parents are awesome....they made sure that one of them spent time with her each day, and that she got to speak with her sister on the phone.  The hospital even allowed Emma to come and visit one day when Ashlyn was on the road to recovery...Emma was a trooper and handled it all so well!  We did dishes, played Candyland, "camped out" on the living room floor and watched movies, had reading parties in my bed...in other words, did all of our favorite things!  I am so blessed to be a part of this family and to be able to be a support in a time of need...Ashlyn came home on Saturday and is in fine spirits! I came home to rest up myself, and will be headed back down to San Diego tomorrow to help out with the girls so that my daughter can get some rest....never a dull moment!

I've missed you all, and am glad to be back!  OXOX

Ch...Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes....

Change is good.  Sometimes, though, it just takes a little getting used to!  I've taken care of others for my entire life, beginning when I was a child myself.  Helped raise my siblings, had a child, cared for my parents, etc., etc., etc.   My daughter left home to go to college about six years ago, married, and never did come back home to live.  My mom passed away about a year and a half ago.  My pets have passed on, one by one.  My nephew came to live with me about six and a half years ago (long story, with a wonderful ending!)  He graduated from college in December and has moved on with his life (and out of my house)!

So where does that leave me?  Still here, with just one cat to care for.  Feels strange and good, all at the same time.  For the first few days, I found myself sort of walking into walls, trying to figure out what it was that I was feeling....sad that such a large part of who I had been (the caretaker) was no longer needed.....and then, it dawned on me.....I was FREE!

I don't regret the choices that I made earlier in my life....they all contributed to making me the person that I am...but now, I am answerable only to myself, and it feels GREAT!  I enjoy my solitude, and the fact that when I come home and close the door behind me, I can just BE.... do my homework, study, listen to music, read, cook what I like to cook, watch TV, or whatever I want to do without having to consider someone else.  It still feels all new to me, and I'm liking it!

Being on my own has raised the question of choices that I now feel free to make....I'm not making any hasty decisions, but am considering whether or not I want to continue to live in a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house....or if I even want to stay in the Los Angeles area.... I will be finished with my undergraduate degree in May, and can get my teaching credential almost anywhere....My life here is full, busy and rewarding....I have truly "bloomed where I was planted"...but.....now I have options!  Who knows!