Friday, July 2, 2010

A Balancing Act....

I admit that things are definitely not easy for me right now....I don't do well with uncertainty, and have been dealing with anxiety because of the state of my finances/future/ times like this, I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay cocooned safely in my bed!

But I haven't done that....I've "hit the employment search" every single day...spent time with a beloved mentor who has helped me immensely by teaching me to reframe my perspective on my life...this is simply one chapter...NOT the entire story, by any means!  I've felt overwhelmed when my "life plan" got sidetracked thanks to the state of the California economy...felt anxious when not receiving any responses to resumes sent out, brochures offering tutoring services bringing no responses, and advertising rooms for rent in my home bringing the same zero responses.

I AM an educator...just not credentialed yet...that WILL come in the meantime, something WILL come up that will enable me to continue to pay my bills and live.  I just have to keep up my end of the deal by continuing to do the footwork.

What got me into trouble was focusing ALL of my efforts on employment, and feeling the effects of rejection, which I translate into anxiety...and then became less effective in attaining my objective or accomplishing/enjoying anything else about my life.

Lesson learned:  BALANCE in all things is essential for my emotional well-being and quality of life.  I cannot let just one area overshadow the rest...the result for me is a disaster.

So, I headed down to San Diego for a couple of days to celebrate my daughter's birthday...Emma had her heart set on making Mommy a "house cake"....the results of our efforts are shown at the top of this post...precious moments that I could have missed if I didn't heed the lesson!  I have an interview at the library in a couple of weeks about becoming a volunteer literacy tutor....I WILL teach, regardless of the arena!  I am looking into taking some Spanish courses which will not only help me become more marketable, but will fulfill my need to learn...AND, two weeks from today, I will be busily packing for my two-week sojurn in Italy with my sister...It's all been paid for months ago (before I realized what a "fix" I would be in) except for food...and as my friend says, "LA will still be here when I get back"....and I've earned a break after 4 1/2 years of intense studying!

I think I'm going to find a picture of a tightrope walker and post it on my bathroom mirror to remind me...


  1. "Mind over matter!" "Create your own momentum!" "Get on with it as there is No plan "B". "Get up, do your best, go to sleep, get up and try again!"
    Please feel free to share the mantras that I have been living by. Oh, I almost forgot, "I'm still breathing, so I must be O.K."
    You sound as though you are really doing a good job and you have to believe all that effort will kick up some results. Once it starts you will be inundated with good things, you may even have some great Italian memories to keep you warm.

  2. Maybe you will reenact Eat, Love, Pray.
    Have a great vacation. You can walk the tightrope when you get back.

  3. So sorry you are having to go through this rough patch. I am hoping that things will break for you very deserve to succeed! Just don't give up. (yeah, I know....easy to say, but do hang in there.)

  4. Here's another mantra: Nobody's gonna die over it.
    Back when I wanted to get out of a career that was making me miserable, weeping every evening, my husband said that to me, and it changed my perspective, just about forever.
    Good for you for enjoying Life, which is, as they say, what happens while you're making other plans.

  5. I understand. More than you probably realize. I have sat here the last few days with tears that trickle unexpectedly, over my state of unemployment and anxiety. I have hit every closed door in California. I sure wish I was heading to Italy with you. You will be refreshed while there and when you come back, I'm sure that you will be ready to jump back into life on a different and grander scale. I'm excited for you!

  6. Hi Saranne, What a wonderful and memorable cake! The picture is priceless. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    I'm so glad you're still taking your trip to Italy and that it's all paid for. I wish you safe travels and a wonderful adventure.

    I hope you enjoy Christine's e-course. I've a big fan of hers and am sure it will be worthwhile.

    In the meantime I'll be sending positive job vibes your way. California kids could use a great teacher like you!

    xo jj

  7. I laughed at ER's advice - and couldn't do any better. She knows whereof she speaks, methinks.

    A dear friend of mine whose philosophy of life I don't always share has often said to me when I'm in a bind 'Just ask the universe for what you need'. I roll my eyes at that, but the one time I did it, it worked.

    Do enjoy Italy and leave the worry behind. It's like paying interest on a debt you may never have.

  8. Hi Saranne,

    Wow, you have some great friends in the bloggers here and all with wonderful wisdom...

    I am unemployed on the east coast, so I think the only thing we can do is share and keep each other looking forward. Good luck with Spanish, my favourite language. Perhaps you will also pick up some Italian on your trip. Bon Voyage!

  9. Balance is something I try to constantly keep in my sights - except when I am on vacation! Italy? I am jealous! Thanks for the follow on my blog. I wish you the best in your job hunt and all.
    Many blessings,

  10. What a precious pic of you and Emma, I'm so glad you got to share it together.

    I'm retired Special Ed. but one way to get your foot in the school systems is to substitute. Good subs are hard to come by and ya never know when a position will open up that you are just perfect for.

    Balance...ha! Just when ya think you have the whole thing mastered life wracks you off your beam.

    I will keep you in my prayers girl....all in HIS perfect timing. God bless and bask in the day.

    I just had to drop in and see what ya have been up to....thanks so much for your prayers and support.

  11. I like your positive attitude. Fast forward to your post about thinking outside the box and Look at you Now! You go, Girl!