But I haven't done that....I've "hit the employment search" every single day...spent time with a beloved mentor who has helped me immensely by teaching me to reframe my perspective on my life...this is simply one chapter...NOT the entire story, by any means! I've felt overwhelmed when my "life plan" got sidetracked thanks to the state of the California economy...felt anxious when not receiving any responses to resumes sent out, brochures offering tutoring services bringing no responses, and advertising rooms for rent in my home bringing the same zero responses.
I AM an educator...just not credentialed yet...that WILL come in time...in the meantime, something WILL come up that will enable me to continue to pay my bills and live. I just have to keep up my end of the deal by continuing to do the footwork.
What got me into trouble was focusing ALL of my efforts on employment, and feeling the effects of rejection, which I translate into anxiety...and then became less effective in attaining my objective or accomplishing/enjoying anything else about my life.
Lesson learned: BALANCE in all things is essential for my emotional well-being and quality of life. I cannot let just one area overshadow the rest...the result for me is a disaster.
So, I headed down to San Diego for a couple of days to celebrate my daughter's birthday...Emma had her heart set on making Mommy a "house cake"....the results of our efforts are shown at the top of this post...precious moments that I could have missed if I didn't heed the lesson! I have an interview at the library in a couple of weeks about becoming a volunteer literacy tutor....I WILL teach, regardless of the arena! I am looking into taking some Spanish courses which will not only help me become more marketable, but will fulfill my need to learn...AND, two weeks from today, I will be busily packing for my two-week sojurn in Italy with my sister...It's all been paid for months ago (before I realized what a "fix" I would be in) except for food...and as my friend says, "LA will still be here when I get back"....and I've earned a break after 4 1/2 years of intense studying!
I think I'm going to find a picture of a tightrope walker and post it on my bathroom mirror to remind me...