Tuesday, September 29, 2009

2 + 2 = 5

I really am quite intelligent.......that is, in areas that don't include any math. Pretty funny, as I spent my career in the investment management business!

My brain just freezes when I have to do anything of a mathematical nature. In high school, I had to take Algebra twice and only passed Geometry because I promised my teacher that I wouldn't go any further.

When I started college, I had to take a math placement test. Guess who had to take Algebra all over again from the beginning? I struggled through it - emphasis on the struggle - I just didn't get it.

I put off taking any more math classes until now. I have one this semester, and then just one more class to take in the spring (math again) and I will have my degree.

I had my first math test today. While getting ready to go to school , I felt like I was going to have a panic attack - internal shakiness, tight chest, etc. - all the assorted fun stuff associated with them. I realized that I had a choice - I could allow this one (small) area of my life rule me, or I could change it up. I chose to face my math anxiety and meet it head-on. I had studied and practiced ad nauseum, and felt that I had given my best effort in learning the material. I went and took the test. I'm sure that I passed it. After school, I went and bought myself flowers to celebrate.

I have decided to not allow math to beat me. I will "get it" and overcome. I will triumph (or at least pass the class!).

This whole math thing is symbolic for me....it's an opportunity to apply what I'm learning about myself to other situations and attitudes that I've carried throughout my life. Without thinking, I automatically react in certain ways to certain situations - and not always in the most positive manner. I'm hoping that success in this area - not staying "stuck" in my old thought patterns when it comes to how I deal with math will lead to doing the same in other areas of my life!


  1. Oh honey, take that math baggage and toss it right out the window 'cause your a new woman takin' the bull by the horns. Ain't nothin' gonna' beat you now, I hear that determination in your post.

    Best of luck to you and have a very blessed day!!!

  2. I think that a great way to think! And I´m sure you will overcome your fears and you will succeed! Try to stay calm, and it will all make sense! :) Good luck!

  3. So glad to welcome you to the world of blogging. And we seem quite similar! I went back to school for 1 yr about 8 yr ago to upgrade my training. I did not let math overcome me but surprised myself & my parents (& any & all teachers I ever had) by excelling in the subject. (I had a great teacher.) I'm so proud of you and impressed as well at what you're taking on! You go girl!
    I also am a divorced single mother, trying daily to keep it all together all around me ..... while physically, my body is falling all apart all around me!!! Oh well! C'est la vie!

  4. I believe many of us have a love-hate relationship with math. I don't quite understand why, in order to get virtually any degree, we need to pass a rigorous math exam. But if that's what's necessary for us to do in order to realize our dreams, we just have to do it. We can't jeopardize the whole, because we stumble on a detail. Even when that detail is math. It could be anything else. It makes no difference. The way to handle is the same: staying focused on what you set out to do. And because I know how passionate you are about your future career, I am sure math will soon become just a hiccup.
    Good luck!

  5. I love that you bought flowers to celebrate-- That's the spirit!!!!
    Good luck with the class.